This week has been one of big passions. While they’re not the sort of thing I normally think of as passion, I like Whedon’s use of the term to encompass all huge feelings. Truly, they are the varied passions of our hearts.
To feel is part of what makes life grand, even when the feelings are difficult and laced with tremendous grief.
This week has been one of those weeks for me. I’ve felt:
The despair of realizing that we can no longer find an acceptable alternative to full-time care for my dear mother-in-law, now 10 years down the dark and difficult road of Alzheimer’s Disease (for a great fictional account of someone succumbing to Alzheimer’s, I suggest Still Alice). My father-in-law is a saint of the highest order, but even he couldn’t continue to provide the level of care she now needs.
The heartbreaking death of a friend’s young child.
The sadness of living far from my grandparents when I want to be nearby when trouble strikes for them.
Each of these passions entwine my soul as I alternately mourn and hope. This is life. The highs and lows are all part of my experience. And while it is difficult, it also highlights the beauty of love, and the splendor of caring for others with my deepest being.
Passion. Life is nothing without it.
“Passion is the source of our finest moments; the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank… without passion, we’d be truly dead.”
–Joss Whedon
What sort of passions are you feeling this week?
I am with you on a few of these. I want so badly to be close to my elderly grandparents, but I can’t do that AND pursue my passions in work, with friends, my boyfriend…all of my friends and coworkers are making plans to travel and grow and develop and I’m afraid to leave the country for too long due to my grandparents ill health. It’s a source of great conflict in me.
Those sort of conflicts weigh heavy on me, too. I thonk the simple fact that you’re conscious of the conflict and think about it ensures that your end decision will be made with love: for your loved ones and for yourself.